About the Fairies (For Fun!)

Thanks to all those who have contacted me with questions about the fairies. I hope that I can answer some of your questions here...*

Q: Are fairies always female?

A: Yes. They are a lot like bees. They have a fairy Queen and many female drones who gather pollen, nectar, and the dreams of small children. There are some males, but mostly they are rather lazy and short-lived. Fairies also sting, but only when provoked.

Q: I have the same fairy name as Osama Bin Laden?

A: Your fairy looks after many people. Their names probably begin with O, B, or L. If you wish to take her to task over this matter, then you must seek her out in the right place at the right time of year (and hope she does not bite you).

Q: We've found two different versions of your fairy name generator. One's at http://www.whiteelephant.ndo.co.uk/fairies/ and one's at http://www.emmadavies.net/fairy/. Could you tell us which is the real/most recent one?

A: When I first began to study fairies, they tricked me by telling me pretend names, and told me to write them down in JavaScript. Then they made me lose my FTP details. After a while, I learnt that a better way to observe them was by using Microsoft .NET. I captured a database of their names from their Queen and I have put it on this website. She is still a bit cross with me.

Q: Could you tell me what my fairy's powers are?

A: I am currently researching the fairies on just this subject. When I have come to some scientific conclusions (and they stop tricking me), I will add them to my database.

Q: Would you be interested in a collaboration?

A: I'm afraid doing this for a living makes it rather less fun to do at the weekends. As you can see I'm rather useless and I haven't finished my site yet. I'm sorry. You are obviously very talented and deserve a collaborator who is capable of collaborations.

Q: I want to write a story and include my fairy or vampire name in it. Can I?

A: You'd be surprised how many people ask me this. There are probably hundreds of Moth Cornshimmers all having adventures all over the world. Yes, as long as you credit me for the name and include the URL of my website in the publication. I may want some money if you intend to write a whole book about it though.

Q: Why don't you give us a big list of all of the component "sub" names of the fairies and vampires?

A: Because you will rip it off.

Q: May I have a copy of your script so I can have fairies or vampires on my own website?

A: The JavaScript version *was* available for general plunder, but the fairies have had it removed now. As for the ASP.NET scripts: no. Why not? Because it's mine and it makes me just enough money to keep this website running. But I might be available for freelance work, should you require some wonderful .NET code.

Q: I think you should do a mermaid/witch/troll/dragon/unicorn name generator.

A: My current projects are mermaids, unicorns and elves. I have the framework in place, it's just the research is taking a little while.

Q: Ha! I know how your fairy/vampire name generator works, you take the first and last letter of the person's name and look it up in a database...

A: Well, aren't you the clever one? Now go away and write one. Actually, I've yet to see someone answer this completely correctly. The fairy name generator takes the first two letters of the first name and the first letter of the last name and creates a name from that. The vampire name generator takes the first letter of the first and last name, plus the person's sex, and it does some cute ascii numerics on the middle letter of both names too, which is why typing in "E Davies" will give you a different answer to typing in "Emma Davies," and again from tying in "Emma D." So "ha!" back to you. ;)

Q: What are the results of fairy bites? I would say quite revolting, but not as bad as a vampire, and have much different effect. - "Violet"

A: Well, it's sort of like the birds and the bees. Or like catching a cold. Sometimes you get better and sometimes you don't. Werewolf bites can make werewolves, vampire bites can make vampires (or kill you in the process), and fairy bites... they can make you a little bit fae. I have a friend who was bitten by a fairy as a child, as you can see from her website, she hasn't recovered.

Q: Can I link to your website?

A: Yes. You don't have to ask permission for this. I enjoy snooping around other people's websites, so submit a link to your own site to my guestbook and I'll take a look.

Q: I have seen fairies too. Will you be my friend?

A: No. I work alone.

Q: You are a bad person for fooling people into thinking you are giving them their real fairy's name! I know my fairy's name and it isn't Buttercup Willowdancer!

A: This is why I work alone.

* Due to the small but unexpectedly significant number of individuals who have actually taken this page seriously, I feel it pertinent to point out that this is a parody!